A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

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Brenda Pike
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A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Brenda Pike » Tue Dec 04, 2012 12:26 am

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A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Christmas time means many things to many people. Most have joyful family and friend events at Christmastime, while across town a lonely destitute person suffers from sheer loneliness, and heartbreak having no cheer to share with anyone who cares about them.
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Christmas of nineteen, eighty-one was a holiday when my heart was broken as family gathered to celebrate this wonderful day of the year—Christ’s birth.

As usual, family gathered to share a wonderful feast of traditional foods, gifts of love, prayers of thankfulness, and wishes to bless our families. But this year, my heart wasn’t the only one broken; I could clearly see my family was in pain and agony as well.

A family member was missing who all loved deeply; my lovely daughter Stacey— not that my son Tracey who had gone to heaven many years before at age eight wasn’t missed too, but my time with Stacey was eighteen years, and I felt when she graduated from high school, her future would be bright, adventurous, and she’d be successful in any career she might choose.

She was a straight ‘A’ student, with personality-plus. There was a peaceful allure about her, yet charming, bubbly personality. Her beauty was beyond compare in my eyes, and also in every family member’s. The void without her was so unbearable this Christmas, I thought I would scream as everyone tried to keep their composure with a calm cordiality.

This Christmas was the loneliness, most heartbreaking time I’d ever spent in my entire life. Being the first Christmas without both my sweet kids hurt down deep to my very soul. Being without Tracy for several years was tough enough, but then my only daughter gone too. I was numb just trying to play the part of a woman who accepted life as it came. I was trained to be strong for my family, and show acceptance of God’s will, but my selfish heart longed for her. Everywhere I looked, I could see and hear her laughing and enjoying life as it was meant to be.

Christmas had always been her favorite time of year. Her birthday was on the nineteenth of December—almost a “Christmas baby,” she was always showered with birthday and Christmas gifts at this wonderful time of year.
Somehow, we made it through Christmas Day that solemn year without anyone breaking down. It might have been better had we’d all held hands, cried, and expressed our emotions. I would have loved for my family to hold me close, and assure me they would be there for me always. Just a simple hug would have given me so much love at that time for I truly felt totally alone.

Today I’m married to a great, loving, and caring man who looks after me, and spoils me no end, but Christmas time is always a reminder, I have no children or grandkids clustered about me in all the excitement and joy of the season.

I simply have fewer years to recall of all those golden memories of days gone by spent with my two Angels.

Brenda Clark Pike
©2012

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Linner
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Linner » Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:00 am

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I'M IN TEARS, SWEETIE PIE. I'M SO SORRY, BRENDA GIRL. I KNOW IT'S SO TOUGH FOR YOU AT MANY TIMES DURING THE YEAR WITHOUT YOUR BABIES, BUT YES, CHRISTMAS IS ONE OF THE LONELIEST. I'M SORRY, TOO, THAT YOUR FAMILY AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT HUG TOGETHER THAT FIRST CHRISTMAS WITHOUT STACEY. BY GOD'S BLESSING, I AM ABLE TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH MY DAUGHTER NOW, AND FOR THAT I WILL BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL TO HIM. I WISH YOU COULD BE HERE WITH ME FOR CHRISTMAS, AND SHARE IT WITH ME, BUT YOU HAVE PHILLIP AND YOUR SISTER THERE AND I KNOW YOU'LL PROBABLY SPEND THAT TIME WITH THEM. BRENDA, IT'S SO HARD TO TRY TO SAY WORDS THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. MAYBE THERE AREN'T ANY. BUT THERE ARE WORDS TO REMIND YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU, AND MANY OTHERS DO, TOO. EVEN THOUGH YOU CAN HAVE A CRUSTY OUTER HIDE AT TIMES, I KNOW OF THE WARM, SOFT HEART THAT DWELLS WITHIN. I MISS YOU SO MUCH, MY FRIEND, AND SOON WE'LL HAVE SOME TIME TOGETHER. WE JUST HAVE TO GET THROUGH THESE TOUGH TIMES, OLD GAL...NOT MUCH MORE TIME LEFT UNTIL WE JOIN OUR LOVED ONES IN THE PROMISED LAND. UNTIL THEN, KEEP THAT CHIN UP AND CALL ME SO I CAN FALL ASLEEP ON THE PHONE WHILE YOU TRY TO TALK TO ME...LOL !! GOSH, GIRL...YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND AND I WOULD TAKE ANY HURT FROM YOU IF I COULD.

LEAN ON JESUS, BRENDA...HE IS THE CLOSEST CONNECTION TO YOUR KIDS AND HE KNOWS YOUR HEART...

GOD BLESS YOUR SWEET SOUL...LOVE ALWAYS, LINDA :wink:
Always be kind and fair; it all comes back to you in time ! Image

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Hope
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Hope » Tue Dec 04, 2012 8:32 am

Brenda,
This breaks my heart. And makes me want to cry, I can't Imagine your pain.
I am sending you lots of hugs, and if I would have been there I would have hugged you and cried with you!

Thank you for sharing A part of your life with us, I know this was not easy to write.
I Love you my friend Eva

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Janice Kennedy
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Janice Kennedy » Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:22 pm

Dear friend, I am not sure if I could have written about something like this. You are the bravest,
kindest, most loving person that I know. All I can say, sweetie, is that I love you, and I am so proud to call you friend.
You have a beautiful heart, made of gold.

Love and Prayers, Jan ))(( :D
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JESUS MESSIAH, NAME ABOVE ALL NAMES. JESUS MESSIAH, LORD OF ALL.
LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE ALL THE TIME
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Brenda Pike
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Brenda Pike » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:11 pm

DEAR LINDA, THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND, LOVING WORDS. I HAVE SO MANY MEMORIES OF FUN TIMES AND A FEW OF THE SAD. BUT ALL IN ALL MOSTLY THE CLOSENESS WE SHARED TOGETHER AND THE THINGS THEY WOULD SAY TO ME. THOSE LITTLE VOICES STILL RING IN MY HEAD AND THEIR SWEET LITTLE FACES. WHEN I HAVE THOSE MEMORIES THAT SPRING TO MY MIND I KNOW THEY ARE THERE WITH ME TO GIVE ME JOY AND LOVE. I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU HAVE A GOOD COMMUNICATIONS AND SPEND TIME WITH YOUR DAUGHTER NOW. THANKS AGAIN DEAR FRIEND, MANY BLESSINGS. LOVE BRENDA

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Brenda Pike
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Brenda Pike » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:17 pm

DEAR EVA, IT WAS HARD TO WRITE, BUT I CAN REMEMBER HOW SAD OF A CHRISTMAS IT WAS FOR EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY WHICH WAS HEART BREAKING FOR ME TOO. MY STORY IS TO REMIND OTHERS TO BE SO GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR THEIR FAMILY, FRIENDS AND MOST OF ALL HAVE JESUS IN YOUR HEART AND SOUL ALWAYS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVING COMMENTS. GOD LOVE YOU. LOVE BRENDA

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Brenda Pike
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Brenda Pike » Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:27 pm

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DEAR JAN, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SUCH A KIND LOVING COMMENT. I 'M GUESSING THAT MY STRENGTH, COURAGE AND BRAVENESS COMES FROM THE LORD ABOVE. AND TO WRITE THIS STORY WAS SAD TO RECALL, BUT SO MANY PEOPLE MISS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ABOUT AND LOSE THE SPIRIT OF CHRIST. WE AS A FAMILY ALL HELD OUR COMPOSURE AS WE ALL PRAYED SILENTLY FOR STRENGHT AND HEALING OF THIS LOVE ONE SO DEARLY LOVED AND MISSED. I LOVE THE PICTURE, HOW TRUE. LOVE YOU JAN, GOD BLESS YOU.

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B.J.Morbitzer
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by B.J.Morbitzer » Thu Dec 06, 2012 2:08 pm

Dear Brenda.,
I don't know really what to say and all I can say is I love you as I love all in here the forum.
But this write made me shed a few tears of my own dear sweet friend.
And I will always be praying for you each and everyday Brenda.
How well I remember the years long ago I never had a Christmas.
Until I was back home from serving my country.
With my blessed wonderful wife and first born child.
But you dear sweet Brenda, Keep your head up high and remember your friends love you and will be keeping you in our heartfelt thoughts and prayers too.
I wish for you a Happy and Blessed Christmas.
We all need to remember to that Christ is our Christmas.And Jesus is the reason for the season.Love and prayers dear sweet friend of mine.
GLYASDI
B.J.

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Brenda Pike
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Re: A BLUE, BLUE CHRISTMAS!

Post by Brenda Pike » Sun Dec 09, 2012 7:19 pm

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DEAR B.J. THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND LOVING WORDS. I APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS, THOUGHTFULNESS AND MOST OF ALL YOUR FRIENDSHIP. TO ME YOUR A GEM, IT'S AN HONOR TO BE CALLED YOUR FRIEND. GLYASDI. LOVE BRENDA

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