Hide Thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities. Create me a clean heart, O God; and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Cast me not away from Thy presence; and take not Thy holy spirit from me. Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation; and let a willing spirit uphold me.
- Psalms 51: 11-14
A VAcant Emotion
Dear Lord Jesus,
Back in 2002 You entered my life through an accident on a sunny May day.
I had a Motorcycle accident with my wife and I lost her .
I lost my job and the use of my leg, I searched for a reason why.
I never once thought that things would ever be the same for me, just days frought
with pain and condolence, I never once blamed you for my troubles.
I met many people along my way, many who offered to help and many that did not.
I endured so many surgeries, I never once faltered, I gave thanks to you each and every time.
I asked for a Partner to share my life and love, you sent her to me and I was so happy.
How could I be so lucky to find someone like this.
Through you Oh Lord, you fill those needs.She was all I could ask for and so much more.
My health took a turn and became dire to save my life. Choices were mine.
I made descisions that with hindsight seemed right at the time, little did I know It was my
own demise. I also turned my back on those that mattered, Some that did and some that did not.
We are now apart and headed for Divorce, something through blindness I did not want.
I will probably lose my house, and all thats attached, all because I gave up on myself and others.
What will I do, what can I do? i returned back to you Dear Lord,through faith and belief in the Holy spirit.
I agree I was lost, and perhaps I am found,But I am Vacant emotionally I shed tears and rebuke them.
There is so much I could have done, so much I should Have done. I never lost sight of you Lord.
I thank you every day for the Bounties I have received, and the ones I was allowed.
I am a Vacant emotion, but still retain my trust and faith in you.
I hope this is what she wants, her own demons that haunt her , haunt me.
I Am Heartfully sorry, for all that I have caused, and did try Dear Lord to mend my ways.
I know Theres a reason known only to you, I am a Vacant Emotion Who Lives the Life Of Job.
I am still your child Dear Lord, And I humbly strive to serve you In My times here on earth.
I ask for forgiveness and Guidance from above.
Amen....
